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TOTW: Le Fondre for France, Parker and heartbreaker

Tweets of the Week returns with some corkers. Get stuck in — no, not to Fergie's new book, but to this!

Charlie Crowhurst

1986. Ah, the good (ahem) old days...

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>Easy!...on this day in 1986 Reading won 2-0 away at Hull in the Old Second Division <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23READINGFC&amp;src=hash">#READINGFC</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23DayToRemember&amp;src=hash">#DayToRemember</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23OTD&amp;src=hash">#OTD</a></p>&mdash; The Royals Family (@TheRoyalsFamily) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheRoyalsFamily/statuses/391115273325256704">October 18, 2013</a></blockquote>

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Brand new Royal!

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>Wayne and I are so proud to say our little boy Parker Bridge was born this morning. 7lb 13oz. All doing well and absolutely besotted ❤😍️</p>&mdash; Francesca Sandford (@FrankieTheSats) <a href="https://twitter.com/FrankieTheSats/statuses/391151417349906432">October 18, 2013</a></blockquote>

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>Congratulations to Wayne Bridge and his partner <a href="https://twitter.com/FrankieTheSats">@FrankieTheSats</a> on the birth of their son Parker this morning. We&#39;ll get him signed up soon!</p>&mdash; Reading FC (@ReadingFC) <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC/statuses/391159147921559552">October 18, 2013</a></blockquote>

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Former Royal James Henry stars in the England team! ... Predicted in 2007.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>In 2007, <a href="https://twitter.com/MailOnline">@MailOnline</a> tried to predict the future England team. I think you will all agree, they nailed it. <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23soclose&amp;src=hash">#soclose</a> <a href="http://t.co/OvoCF7qRGZ">pic.twitter.com/OvoCF7qRGZ</a></p>&mdash; Stick Sports Team (@sticksports) <a href="https://twitter.com/sticksports/statuses/391161890694373376">October 18, 2013</a></blockquote>

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Another former Royal, Simon Church, scores when he wants.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>Simon Church scores, again...</p>&mdash; Robin Hinton (@theroyalrobin) <a href="https://twitter.com/theroyalrobin/statuses/391566567164481536">October 19, 2013</a></blockquote>

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Over to the Doncaster game.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>Looking forward to watching the game today. Seems like ages since last home match! Hopefully boys will get another 3 points on the board 😁</p>&mdash; Jem Paul Karacan (@JemKaracan4) <a href="https://twitter.com/JemKaracan4/statuses/391505160171958272">October 19, 2013</a></blockquote>

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>GOALLLLL! Danny Guthrie puts <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23readingfc&amp;src=hash">#readingfc</a> 1-0 up!!</p>&mdash; Reading FC (@ReadingFC) <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC/statuses/391567450589757441">October 19, 2013</a></blockquote>

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>In the mean time the <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23readingfc&amp;src=hash">#readingfc</a> fans having some banter with Adam Federici. He smiles wryly at the &quot;We&#39;ll win the Ashes 5-0&quot; chant!</p>&mdash; Reading FC (@ReadingFC) <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC/statuses/391588887841107968">October 19, 2013</a></blockquote>

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>GOAL. Out of nothing Doncaster level through Robinson</p>&mdash; Reading FC (@ReadingFC) <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC/statuses/391572513467027456">October 19, 2013</a></blockquote>

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>McCleary drove at the heart of Doncaster there, frightened the life out of the Rovers backline before slipping in Alfie. Superb finish. 2-1</p>&mdash; Reading FC (@ReadingFC) <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC/statuses/391574565811273729">October 19, 2013</a></blockquote>

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>GOALLL! 3-1 to <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23readingfc&amp;src=hash">#readingfc</a>!!</p>&mdash; Reading FC (@ReadingFC) <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC/statuses/391589107291283456">October 19, 2013</a></blockquote>

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>Great win from the boys 👍 and a cheeky personal milestone ... 100th league start 🙌 ... Cheeky man date with this guy <a href="https://twitter.com/J16Hydey">@J16Hydey</a> ❤️</p>&mdash; sean morrison (@seanmorrison_91) <a href="https://twitter.com/seanmorrison_91/statuses/391616610542563328">October 19, 2013</a></blockquote>

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>GOALLLLL!!!!!! WHAT a finish from the Pog!!! 4-1 in the dying seconds!!!</p>&mdash; Reading FC (@ReadingFC) <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC/statuses/391593362609827840">October 19, 2013</a></blockquote>

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>PHOTO: Great performances from Guthrie and Pogrebnyak today. Well done boys! <a href="http://t.co/hEzDI3aOUR">pic.twitter.com/hEzDI3aOUR</a></p>&mdash; Reading FC (@ReadingFC) <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC/statuses/391611535883132928">October 19, 2013</a></blockquote>

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Youngster Ofori loves the porn. Football porn, that is.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>"<a href="https://twitter.com/GiroudAFC_">@GiroudAFC_</a>: Someone uploaded Jack Wilshere&#39;s goal to Porn Hub <a href="http://t.co/5cVLVCM6QI">pic.twitter.com/5cVLVCM6QI</a>" hahaa that&#39;s class</p>&mdash; Germaine Ofori (@GermaineOfori) <a href="https://twitter.com/GermaineOfori/statuses/391635452442451968">October 19, 2013</a></blockquote>

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>Wilshere goal includes two back-heels, three one-twos, four first-time passes and a volleyed finish. Needs a few replays to take in</p>&mdash; Jeremy Wilson (@JWTelegraph) <a href="https://twitter.com/JWTelegraph/statuses/391668225366171648">October 19, 2013</a></blockquote>

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Le Fondre gets found out by the wifey.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>Adam comes in from being on playstation, and says &quot;coming in here now as want to spend time with my wife&quot; I found it strange he kept 1/2</p>&mdash; Amy Le Fondre (@XxMrsLeFondre) <a href="https://twitter.com/XxMrsLeFondre/statuses/392020035637899264">October 20, 2013</a></blockquote>

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>Walking out the room, only I discovered this....what a joke 😡 spend time with my wife <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23myarse&amp;src=hash">#myarse</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%2315minutesMAX&amp;src=hash">#15minutesMAX</a> <a href="http://t.co/smWUU6iDTQ">pic.twitter.com/smWUU6iDTQ</a></p>&mdash; Amy Le Fondre (@XxMrsLeFondre) <a href="https://twitter.com/XxMrsLeFondre/statuses/392020889396842496">October 20, 2013</a></blockquote>

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Hector gives a loan update.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>"<a href="https://twitter.com/TheTilehurstEnd">@TheTilehurstEnd</a>: <a href="https://twitter.com/Big_Hec35">@Big_Hec35</a> how&#39;s life in the SPL? Big step up from League 1/2?" Going well yh it is a step up from league 1 and 2</p>&mdash; Michael Hector (@Big_Hec35) <a href="https://twitter.com/Big_Hec35/statuses/392035671747330048">October 20, 2013</a></blockquote>

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Arsenal who?

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>PHOTO: Our Academy celebrate a 98th minute winner over Arsenal this weekend! Full reaction &amp; highlights tomorrow. <a href="http://t.co/VaFw8LuEey">pic.twitter.com/VaFw8LuEey</a></p>&mdash; Reading FC (@ReadingFC) <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC/statuses/392230899158237184">October 21, 2013</a></blockquote>

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Le Fondre informs us of his national status.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>"<a href="https://twitter.com/mikemack1977">@mikemack1977</a>: <a href="https://twitter.com/A1F1E9">@A1F1E9</a> Is there any chance that you have a scottish grand parent? <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23scottishfandreaming&amp;src=hash">#scottishfandreaming</a> ;)"nope sorry</p>&mdash; Adam Le Fondre (@A1F1E9) <a href="https://twitter.com/A1F1E9/statuses/392276682901835776">October 21, 2013</a></blockquote>

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>"<a href="https://twitter.com/RoyalHoops">@RoyalHoops</a>: <a href="https://twitter.com/A1F1E9">@A1F1E9</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/mikemack1977">@mikemack1977</a> Haha! Unlucky mate! Any long-lost Irish descendants? <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23PaddyLeFondre&amp;src=hash">#PaddyLeFondre</a>"hahahaa nah mate just 🇫🇷 an England</p>&mdash; Adam Le Fondre (@A1F1E9) <a href="https://twitter.com/A1F1E9/statuses/392277568189366272">October 21, 2013</a></blockquote>

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>"<a href="https://twitter.com/RoyalHoops">@RoyalHoops</a>: <a href="https://twitter.com/A1F1E9">@A1F1E9</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/mikemack1977">@mikemack1977</a> Benzema who? <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23LeFondre4France&amp;src=hash">#LeFondre4France</a>" 😂😂😂🇫🇷🇫🇷🇫🇷</p>&mdash; Adam Le Fondre (@A1F1E9) <a href="https://twitter.com/A1F1E9/statuses/392279469945520128">October 21, 2013</a></blockquote>

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Nick Arnold wants to get stuck in... To a book.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>Fergie just digging people out !!! That book is gunna be so good to read</p>&mdash; Nick Arnold (@narnold10) <a href="https://twitter.com/narnold10/statuses/392651891685203969">October 22, 2013</a></blockquote>

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Ryan Edwards will have a new older head to get advice from in Australia.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>Buzzing Gallas has signed! Can&#39;t wait to play and learn from him. What a signing! <a href="https://twitter.com/PerthGloryFC">@PerthGloryFC</a></p>&mdash; Ryan Edwards (@redwards45) <a href="https://twitter.com/redwards45/statuses/392879332734947328">October 23, 2013</a></blockquote>

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IN HOUSE BANTZ.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/gmccleary12">@gmccleary12</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC">@ReadingFC</a> about time he scored with the amounts of shots he puts in the stand!! Fans need helmets for g&#39;s shooting 😂😂😂</p>&mdash; Adam Le Fondre (@A1F1E9) <a href="https://twitter.com/A1F1E9/statuses/392962493276250112">October 23, 2013</a></blockquote>

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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/A1F1E9">@A1F1E9</a> every1 you may see a good relationship between me and this guy on the pitch but in reality I dislike him 😂😂 x</p>&mdash; Garath McCleary (@gmccleary12) <a href="https://twitter.com/gmccleary12/statuses/392963486424518657">October 23, 2013</a></blockquote>

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OptaRoyal.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>1 - The only one of the 27 sides that Jose Mourinho has faced in the Premier League at home and never defeated is <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC">@ReadingFC</a>. Royal.</p>&mdash; OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) <a href="https://twitter.com/OptaJoe/statuses/392965296731877376">October 23, 2013</a></blockquote>

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Jimmy Kebe. Judas, or heartbreaker?

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/BradRWills">@BradRWills</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/JKebe">@JKebe</a> untill he broke my heart</p>&mdash; Matt Harden (@MattHarden86) <a href="https://twitter.com/MattHarden86/statuses/393009239821918208">October 23, 2013</a></blockquote>

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