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The Royal Romp: The Messiah returns

Hoops introduces his brand new feature, where he looks at @TOONjennaURZ's News Bites, chews them for a while, then spits them back out in ridiculous fashion.

Nick Blackman's got the right idea
Nick Blackman's got the right idea
Ben Hoskins

Messiah returns

McCleary and Cummings return - Reading Official Site
Shaun Cummings, out since the early part of the season with a knee injury, and Garath McCleary, sidelined since the end of last season with a back problem, both played 45 minutes in a behind-closed-doors training match against Oxford United on Wednesday.

The Messiah and the not-Messiah made their returns from injury, making Adkins feel a bit jubilant or something.

50% of Reading fans are angry at the thought of AdkIDIOTns being blessed with one of his best players. After all, we can't have that geezer proving people wrong, can we? #AdkinsOUT

Of course, the other 50% who reckon Adkins is doing a pretty decent job just reckon he's a miraculous healer, so there's that. #AdkinsIN

Mackie just can't decide

Jamie Mackie's thoughts on the international break - Reading Official Site
Jamie Mackie says the amount of international breaks so far this season has been "frustrating". Losing at home to Charlton and then having to wait two weeks for the next match is something Mackie finds annoying, but he says the benefit is that we have an extended period to work on things, become better, and hopefully work on how to blood some consistency into our results.

Jamie "In-Out-Of-The-Team-Anyway" Mackie is getting pretty miffed at the number of International breaks, probably saying something about momentum and a bunch of clichéd nonsense, but then he evens that out by saying that perhaps the International break is a blessing in disguise. Romp reckon he's just a little confused and isn't sure whether he likes or dislikes the International break, so is covering all bases. If only Adkins could train the lads to do that when a cross comes in.

Watch uninspiring football for ONLY £210

Half season tickets on Sale - Reading Official Site
For those looking to witness a late surge into the playoffs or plunge into the relegation scrap, half season tickets are now on sale.

Reading fans who up to now have only dabbled in the odd game here and there, or who have sat at home watching this season's horrors unfold now have the opportunity to watch the horrors unfold in real life, and for a ridiculous bargain price of £210 if you're an adult.

That's £210 to watch the remainder of a season that has so far been so uninspiring the only thing fans have to talk about in a positive light is how the Official Site has dropped #SoupWatch.

Pog isn't greedy, says manager who can't exactly come out and say that he is greedy

Pog isn't just in it for the money - Reading Post
It's not secret that Pavel Pogrebnyak is on big money at Reading, reportedly in the region of £65,000 a week, and in a recent interview in Russian newspaper, Pog answered a question about looking for a new club with "There are important financial considerations...I have, shall we say, not low wages, and not all clubs are willing to pay that kind of money." This led many Reading fans to question Pog's commitment to actually wanting to play for Reading or just being interested in his pay cheque. However, Nigel Adkins was quick to support him, saying he would be the first critic of someone if they aren't "working hard", but Pog is and his attitude is still "spot on" as he knows he has to "bide his time and wait for his opportunity".

Adkins has defended Pogrebnyak, saying despite his out of proportionally high wages—sorry, "not low wages"—and lack of first team action, he's not greedy and is putting work on the training pitch. We presume putting work on the training pitch means we, too, can earn £60,000 a week and sit on the bench every week. Sign us up.

Gunter happy on the left, fans wish he was left back at home

Gunter on McCleary, playing left-back, Wales's game with Belgium and Reading's lack of consistency - Reading Official Site
Although he's played left back in the last couple of games, Chris Gunter is relishing the possibility of playing behind winger Garath McCleary again. Both have the ability to play either side, and Gunter says the impressive existing in-play relationship between McCleary and himself can still be built on. Gunter also says he is happy playing at left back, instead of his natural right back position. He said he played his first 10 games for Wales at left back and his first few appearances for Spurs were in this position, so he is happy adapting to this. He also discusses Wales's upcoming European Championship qualifier against Belgium. He says the Welsh team are full of confidence going into the game, having already picked up 7 points and the enthusiasm is high. Thinking back to the situation at Reading, he says the lack of momentum is disappointing, and the team quickly need to realise what they must do to play well and follow it up.

Chris Gunter, a right footed right back, is happy to play on the left because that way at least he's still getting game time and he really doesn't like sitting on the bench because, well, who does?—OK, fine, except you, Pog.

Disappointed Kelly is disappointed

Kelly on our sleepy defence - Reading Chronicle
Stephen Kelly says losing to Charlton the way we did was deeply disappointing. He says they hadn't created any chances and then scored from "a simple ball into the box". He says crosses like that have been "costing us over the last couple of weeks" and we have to cut them out. The full-back adds that what makes it worse is that we played quite well but just couldn't "unlock" their defence, lacking quality in the final third. The manner of the defeat, he says, will make the international break and then two tough away games at Cardiff and Norwich even worse, but on a personal level he is pleased to be back in the side after having a frustrating spell out.

Reading's best right back has said he's disappointed with a disappointing defence. Oh, and he's disappointed with our disappointing attacking work, too. All in all, then, he's disappointed but glad to be back playing so he, too, can shoulder some of the blame for Nigel AdkIDIOTins tactical naivety.

At least someone can score

Youth player scores for America u20s - Reading Official Site
Andrija Novakovich scored in the USA U20s 4-3 victory over Russia on Tuesday evening. Russia exerted a lot of pressure on the American side, which the young forward said they had to absorb to stay in the game before finding a way to win.

Whilst the Royals' attack continues to stutter, splutter, start, then stop, at least youth player [UNPRONOUNCEABLE NAME] scored.

Pay £50 for food and three strangers to be in the same room

1993/1994 title winning team reunion - Reading Post
Tickets for this reunion dinner are now on sale for £50, covering a three course meal and half a bottle of wine. Keith McPherson, Ady Williams and Dylan Kerr are three players that will be there, and former Premier League and World Cup referee Dermot Gallagher is one of the speakers.

As well as being given the opportunity to slpash over £200 to watch uninspiring football, you can also pay £50 for a three course meal, half a bottle of wine, and to spend time in the same room as a bunch of strangers; who happen to be strangers that used to be seen on a football pitch.

Legend turns 40 but we all thought he was older

Murty's big 4 0 - Reading Official Site
A collection of twitter tributes for our record winning captain on his 40th Birthday.

Reading legend Graeme Murty turned forty, and whilst Romp is all for chanting "F-O-R-T-Y" over and over and over again, we're still not completely convinced he's actually 40. Are we all sure he's not older?

OS post photos

Murty's Reading spell in photos - Reading Post
A gallery of photos highlighting Murty's legendary time in a Reading shirt.

Photos were posted on the Official Site and everyone was so ecstatic that they just jumped for jo didn't care.

Young Royal spends time at school

Coops in the community - Reading Official Site
Jake Cooper visited Southfield School in Wokingham after being invited by the coach of his old Sunday league team, California FC, who is now a teacher at the school. Cooper was described as "level-headed and "a lot of the staff could not believe he was only 19". He watched a group of boys play football and then took part in a Q&A session, stressing the importance of "commitment, motivation and living a disciplined lifestyle" for bringing success.

Breakthrough giant centre back Jake Cooper spent time at a school this week watching boys play football. Something he's probably never done before and nor will he ever do it again, what kind of a way is that to spend a day? One thing he did get out of the day was a fantastic opportunity to walk around the playground screaming "I R GOLIATH" at a kid named David. Apparently.