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Calm down, calm down. I know it's a big deal, but there's no need for you to scream with joy. That's right—it is I, Royal Hoops, back with you for our weekly feature on The Tilehurst End. Each week, I'll collate some of the best tweets (and the occasional Vine or Instagram) and deliver them to you right here.
For this returning episode, I present to you a collection of some of the best tweets from the past—ummm...—I bring you some of the best tweets I've seen recently. Then next week we'll have the best from the previous seven days. Ready?
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We'll begin with the reveal of the new kits; this one was tweeted by a defender who has been linked with a move to Cardiff today. *sob*
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Kit shoot selfie ... New kits are especially the away strip! ... French navy apparently <a href="http://t.co/L6hBdIQYx9">pic.twitter.com/L6hBdIQYx9</a></p>— sean morrison (@seanmorrison_91) <a href="https://twitter.com/seanmorrison_91/statuses/486942059551809538">July 9, 2014</a></blockquote>
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Vice-captain Chris Gunter just can't keep a straight face at the idea of receiving as much as £4 million for Morrison.*
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p> <a href="http://t.co/iEXSH3nBui">pic.twitter.com/iEXSH3nBui</a></p>— Reading FC (@ReadingFC) <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC/statuses/487537920291524608">July 11, 2014</a></blockquote>
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*NB: This is rumour and speculation. The Tilehurst End doesn't approve of this, but Hoops is a rebel.
Jem Karacan, our new captain, has donned the shirt number 21 because he likes Pirlo. Or something. #TurkishPirlo
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Jem Karacan wears No 21 as nod to Andrea Pirlo...and there the similarity ends <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/readingfc?src=hash">#readingfc</a></p>— Carl (@RFCCSN) <a href="https://twitter.com/RFCCSN/statuses/488626514750353408">July 14, 2014</a></blockquote>
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The Tilehurst End contributor Jacob South Klein uses his mathematical abilities to deduce how long it will take McCarthy to don the number one jersey.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/RoyalHoops">@RoyalHoops</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/Alex_Macca23">@Alex_Macca23</a> He's down from 21 to 20, meaning that following the -1 trend he'll be Squad Number 1 by the 2033/2034 season.</p>— Jacob South Klein (@JacobSouthKlein) <a href="https://twitter.com/JacobSouthKlein/statuses/488698141261459456">July 14, 2014</a></blockquote>
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Drenthe's not given a shirt number. He's also made to train with the U21s because ROLE MODEL.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Royston Drenthe hasn't been given a squad number from Reading for the forthcoming season. <a href="http://t.co/azpMQHGS5p">pic.twitter.com/azpMQHGS5p</a></p>— Faded Footballers (@FadedFootballer) <a href="https://twitter.com/FadedFootballer/statuses/488975839342510081">July 15, 2014</a></blockquote>
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Reading perma-crock and U21 goal-scoring supremo Dominic Samuel is king of the banter.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Props to Dom Samuel who ended a brief argument over a challenge with "whatever, you're the one who has to play for Basingstoke!" <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/ReadingFC?src=hash">#ReadingFC</a></p>— Russell L. Parker (@RussellLParker) <a href="https://twitter.com/RussellLParker/statuses/489134646408794112">July 15, 2014</a></blockquote>
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Nottingham Forest win a pre-season game against York City thanks to goals by players they've handed over to the Royals. Logic.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/NFFC?src=hash">#NFFC</a> grabbed a 2-1 win at York City this evening after goals from Simon Cox and Jamie Mackie. <a href="http://t.co/whAQzZEFOn">http://t.co/whAQzZEFOn</a> <a href="http://t.co/7mCJP3I9Ja">pic.twitter.com/7mCJP3I9Ja</a></p>— Nottingham Forest FC (@Official_NFFC) <a href="https://twitter.com/Official_NFFC/statuses/494579990793441280">July 30, 2014</a></blockquote>
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Rumours of a triple signing surface after the Thai Takeover is completed.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>If we make a triple signing it'll rip a hole in time <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/readingfc?src=hash">#readingfc</a></p>— Alex. (@RoyalCrisp) <a href="https://twitter.com/RoyalCrisp/statuses/496965747722440705">August 6, 2014</a></blockquote>
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McCleary LAD. Doctor not-so-LAD.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Amazing story this. Garath McCleary reveals he played for more than two months with a broken back <a href="http://t.co/8zoCG9wZZb">http://t.co/8zoCG9wZZb</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/ReadingFC?src=hash">#ReadingFC</a></p>— Charles Watts (@charles_watts) <a href="https://twitter.com/charles_watts/statuses/497021852565667840">August 6, 2014</a></blockquote>
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Upon signing Simon Cox, this here blog got a little excited.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>AFTER 314 DAYS IT'S OVER, WELL DONE EVERYONE, WE MADE IT :') <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/readingfc?src=hash">#readingfc</a></p>— The Tilehurst End (@TheTilehurstEnd) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheTilehurstEnd/statuses/497390259811147776">August 7, 2014</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>PHOTO: Just a little bit of history repeating....<a href="https://twitter.com/SCoxy31Real">@SCoxy31Real</a> <a href="http://t.co/d2SKW71uZe">pic.twitter.com/d2SKW71uZe</a></p>— Reading FC (@ReadingFC) <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC/statuses/497392536483540992">August 7, 2014</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Just wanted to express my delight at signing back for my hometown club <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC">@ReadingFC</a>. This club means a great deal to me and let's hope for ...</p>— Simon Cox (@SCoxy31Real) <a href="https://twitter.com/SCoxy31Real/statuses/497426191838904320">August 7, 2014</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>A successful season ahead with this young and exciting squad of players. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Royals?src=hash">#Royals</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/UR?src=hash">#UR</a>'s</p>— Simon Cox (@SCoxy31Real) <a href="https://twitter.com/SCoxy31Real/statuses/497426385984839680">August 7, 2014</a></blockquote>
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Meanwhile, some guy predicts the future using FIFA...
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/sterling31">@sterling31</a> Just offered you £150k a week on <a href="https://twitter.com/EASPORTSFIFA">@EASPORTSFIFA</a> and you reject my contract to leave for <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC">@ReadingFC</a>. Not happy with you Raheem </p>— Andru (@AndrewTarleton) <a href="https://twitter.com/AndrewTarleton/statuses/497475614627336193">August 7, 2014</a></blockquote>
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I'll drink to that. Cheers!
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Met a guy who's a Swindon fan and says he hates Reading because all our fans are 'good looking and intelligent'... I'm not going to disagree</p>— Jaek Tailer (@Tailerpls) <a href="https://twitter.com/Tailerpls/statuses/497693725930557441">August 8, 2014</a></blockquote>
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SEASON KICK OFF
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>46 games.Enjoy the highs.Work thru the lows. Good luck to all my friends out there this season.The harder you work,the luckier you become.⚽️</p>— Chris Gunter (@Chrisgunter16) <a href="https://twitter.com/Chrisgunter16/statuses/498031568976625664">August 9, 2014</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>It's that time again "Game Day". It's the start of a tough season. There will be highs and lows but unity is our driving force. Good luck!x</p>— Simon Cox (@SCoxy31Real) <a href="https://twitter.com/SCoxy31Real/statuses/498037010582740993">August 9, 2014</a></blockquote>
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It was all going so well. *sad face*
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>GOAL. Wigan have clinched a point at the death. Very harsh on the Royals - they deserved all three points here. 2-2</p>— Reading FC (@ReadingFC) <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC/statuses/498134097718685696">August 9, 2014</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/TheTilehurstEnd">@TheTilehurstEnd</a> you guys defiantly should have won that one. Lucky for us to grab a win!</p>— Pie Eaters Footie (@PieEatersFootie) <a href="https://twitter.com/PieEatersFootie/statuses/498163419640758272">August 9, 2014</a></blockquote>
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ROYALS SIGN FERDINA—wait, not Rio?
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>It's all done happy 2 be back in English football at a fantastic club <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC">@ReadingFC</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Royals?src=hash">#Royals</a> new number new start #4 <a href="http://t.co/hcM58O6j2T">pic.twitter.com/hcM58O6j2T</a></p>— Anton Ferdinand (@anton_ferdinand) <a href="https://twitter.com/anton_ferdinand/statuses/498848256915681280">August 11, 2014</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Anton Ferdinand hasn't played in a competitive match in 252 days, since Antalyaspor beat Çankirispor in the Turkish Cup.</p>— Squawka Football (@Squawka) <a href="https://twitter.com/Squawka/statuses/498849516989452288">August 11, 2014</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Anton Ferdinand to Reading just screams "Premier League Years: 2006/07"</p>— Football Clichés (@FootballCliches) <a href="https://twitter.com/FootballCliches/statuses/498851360092483584">August 11, 2014</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>"<a href="https://twitter.com/anton_ferdinand">@anton_ferdinand</a>: 1st day training with my new team mates and coaches <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/NewFamily?src=hash">#NewFamily</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/royals?src=hash">#royals</a> #4 <a href="http://t.co/WOpkmMHDmo">http://t.co/WOpkmMHDmo</a>" > make it happen bro.</p>— Rio Ferdinand (@rioferdy5) <a href="https://twitter.com/rioferdy5/statuses/498892782816481280">August 11, 2014</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/anton_ferdinand">@anton_ferdinand</a>. Congrats cuz on ur move to 1 of my former clubs <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC">@ReadingFC</a> . <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/greatclub?src=hash">#greatclub</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/greatfans?src=hash">#greatfans</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/sleepinggiants?src=hash">#sleepinggiants</a> ⚽️ </p>— LloydOwusu (@LloydOwusu) <a href="https://twitter.com/LloydOwusu/statuses/499078800043294720">August 12, 2014</a></blockquote>
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Former Reading youngster D'Ath impresses for Northampton against Wolves in the Cup.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>GOAL (58') Wolves 0-1 NORTHAMPTON (D'Ath)</p>— The72 (@FBL72) <a href="https://twitter.com/FBL72/statuses/499284359451783168">August 12, 2014</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>GOAL! Wolves 2-3 NORTHAMPTON (D'Ath 74') <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/CapitalOneCup?src=hash">#CapitalOneCup</a></p>— talkSPORT Kick Off (@talkSPORTKO) <a href="https://twitter.com/talkSPORTKO/statuses/499288463129464834">August 12, 2014</a></blockquote>
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CUP DRAW SO EXCITE.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Royals will face Scunthorpe away in second round <a href="https://twitter.com/CapitalOne_Cup">@CapitalOne_Cup</a>. Ties take place week of Tue 26th August. <a href="http://t.co/oKHSpe3vaA">pic.twitter.com/oKHSpe3vaA</a></p>— Reading FC (@ReadingFC) <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC/statuses/499662445187973120">August 13, 2014</a></blockquote>
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Blast from the past. One-time Reading defender Darren O'Dea cracks a joke.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Dis day, 10 yeers ago I shud have bin geting my exam risults but I left scoole erly to play football! Never efected me aneeway.</p>— Darren O'Dea (@odea_darren) <a href="https://twitter.com/odea_darren/statuses/499838957186977792">August 14, 2014</a></blockquote>
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ROYALS EMBRACE ANTHEM.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Your votes are in....the club anthem decided by supporters, for supporters has been revealed! >>> <a href="http://t.co/IKqkxJ8fLg">http://t.co/IKqkxJ8fLg</a></p>— Reading FC (@ReadingFC) <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC/statuses/499848692300791809">August 14, 2014</a></blockquote>
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Sean, c'mon, what're you doing?
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Morrison hasn't had a medical yet, he trained with Reading today. But he has told Adkins he wants to talk to Cardiff. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/readingfc?src=hash">#readingfc</a></p>— Charles Watts (@charles_watts) <a href="https://twitter.com/charles_watts/statuses/499907647014199296">August 14, 2014</a></blockquote>
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This is top class.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>My entry for the <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/mimicmorro?src=hash">#mimicmorro</a> competition <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC">@ReadingFC</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/seanmorrison_91">@seanmorrison_91</a> <a href="http://t.co/TEAXkZwA8M">pic.twitter.com/TEAXkZwA8M</a></p>— Lewis Gilbert (@lewisgilbert97) <a href="https://twitter.com/lewisgilbert97/statuses/499932528862846976">August 14, 2014</a></blockquote>
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Made in Reading. Doesn't quite have the same ring to it as Made in Chelsea...
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Kevin Doyle and Shane Long left Cork City for a combined €100k They have since cost €35million in transfer fees!! <a href="http://t.co/AFyZ8KlUNQ">pic.twitter.com/AFyZ8KlUNQ</a></p>— Bookie Bashers (@BashDaBookies) <a href="https://twitter.com/BashDaBookies/statuses/499949575294427138">August 14, 2014</a></blockquote>
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Give me Hope, give me Akpan, give him a birthday cake.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Appreciate all the birthday messages folks. ❤️✌️ little dinner in Wokingham with a few of the <a href="https://twitter.com/ReadingFC">@ReadingFC</a> boys.</p>— Hope Akpan (@HopeAkpan) <a href="https://twitter.com/HopeAkpan/statuses/499978290413961216">August 14, 2014</a></blockquote>
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Cheerio!