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The Royal Romp: Pogrebnyak v Huth, That's The Dream

News Bites regurgitated for your pleasure. Or not.

This is a man concerned with what he's read below.
This is a man concerned with what he's read below.
Ker Robertson/Getty Images

Romping into 2015 I am. I don't even care. Bring it on.

Cummings moves to Millwall - Reading Official Site

Shaun Cummings completed his transfer to Millwall on Monday after making 86 appearances for Reading, scoring one goal.  The official site dubs his performance on the right-wing away at Cardiff in the 2011 play-off semi final as his most memorable in a Reading shirt. Manager Steve Clarke thanks Shaun for his contributions to the club but says this was a good move for Cummings to get regular first team football, and also a good move for Reading as it doesn't substantially weaken the squad. As usual, the terms of the transfer are undisclosed.

Ladies and gentlemen, can we take a moment to mourn the Royals' loss of Shaun Cummings? The man the Official Site once (mistakenly) called S. ***mings and perhaps the recipient of the best chant to come from the club in recent years has left to join relegation battlers Millwall. Remember, not even Lady Gaga will get a crowd of over 15,000 to shout "All over your face" all at once.

Federici doesn't think he's at his best - Reading Official Site

Speaking after his man of the match performance against Middlesbrough and after picking up the December player of the month award, Adam Federici says he isn't playing at his best yet and knows he can still improve. He wants to keep improving to meet his goal of going to the next World Cup. He is also keen to stress that the whole defence, and not just himself, has been more solid in recent weeks, so he can't take all the credit for the clean sheets.

Well, Adam, you may think the defence deserves credit but let's be honest, in the privacy of your own home you know that's a load of crap. You alone have saved the Royals. You alone have earned us points and kept us in games. You also know you're playing out of your skin, mate, and you can't get much better than you are at the moment. You dirty liar.

Guthrie says there's more to come - Reading Official Site

Our shape has improved a lot under Steve Clarke, says Danny Guthrie- but we now need to be braver in attack and pass the ball better. Guthrie is pleased to be back after a long period on the sidelines, and believes he can play anywhere across midfield or off the striker to help the side during the rest of the season.

What he meant was: "I'm glad Adkins is finally gone so now I can get some game time. That positive ***** hated me, I don't know why. At least Clarkey likes me so I'll get some minutes before I sod off in the summer to a club that appreciates me."

Maybe he just didn't like your haircut, Dan?

Tshibola doing well at Hartlepool - Reading Official Site

Aaron Tshibola moved to Hartlepool on a initial months loan at the start of the month and has already made it into the League 1 team of the week after playing in a narrow loss to Wycombe, and helped Hartlepool to their first win in 13 games with a 2-0 win against Cheltenham at the weekend.

Tshibola finally escaped the clutches of the Reading Reserves and made his way to Hartlepool, where he's immediately been thrown into a fight to the death against relegation from League One. Luckily he's holding his own down there, or else he'd be locked up in the reserves again until 'time time is right'... Yikes.

Reading enter partnership with West Berkshire Brewery - Reading Official Site

After a successful trial of the brewery's Good Old Boy at the end of last season, Reading have announced a deal with the local award-winning brewery to sell the bitter outside the East stand and in hospitality from the end of the month at the home game against Sheffield Wednesday.

Finally Reading are selling something that goes with the football on display: bitter.

Striker not what we need says Clarke - Reading Chronicle

With an average of just one goal a game across our last 16 matches, many fans are crying out for a new striker to bolster our frontline, but Steve Clarke says he doesn't have any priorities and any potential transfer target would have to complement what he has already got. He says there won't be any panic buying and that Simon Cox, Nick Blackman and Pavek Pogrebnyak will have enough goals between them. Nevertheless, he says they are looking to do transfer business but won't be doing anything silly.

What he really means: "We desperately need a striker. I fear for our prospects this season if we don't sign a decent striker, but I can't exactly say that to you lot in the press, can I? Imagine what that training ground would look like if Cox, Blackman and Pogrebnyak got wind of it. I might be a Scot but I can't fend off all three of 'em. Here, take this, get word out we're looking for a striker—shhh!"

5 strikers Reading should look at - Reading Post

Eoin Doyle, Chuba Akpom, Nahki Wells, Dwight Gayle and Glenn Murray are the Reading Post's top 5 suggestions for Steve Clarke's shopping list this January. Check out their analysis of this diverse group and what they could offer the Royals.

We're the Reading Post, we publish articles that gets fans drooling over the fantasy of having a decent, prolific striker at the head of the team because we're mean, mean people.

Reading are after Stoke's Robert Huth - Reading Post

30-year-old Stoke centre-back Robert Huth has been told he can leave Stoke and is being linked with Reading, Norwich and Watford. The defender is likely to move on loan after a long-term injury.

I don't know about you, but I'd ruddy love the big German to march around Hogwood. Imagine a fight between him and Pogrebnyak, even Zeus wouldn't be able to break them up.

The squad can't wait for Fulham - Reading Official site

With the biggest away following of the season expected at Craven Cottage, Chris Gunter says the players are all asking around for tickets, with it being a short trip. He says the squad are looking to replicate what they did when they won there 4-2 in the Premier League a couple of seasons ago, and the squad travel to Fulham full of confidence. Gunter is also keen to stress that he is pleased to be back on the right-flank under Steve Clarke, and that the whole defence is more solid now than a few weeks back. Gunter says that if we can now and nick a few goals, it will be good for everyone, and praises the recent performances of Adam Federici as "nine times out of ten" he'll stop it for them.

You idiots. Utter fools. Don't look forward to games, it'll only end badly. Full of confidence, are you? Good, why don't you turn up and play well, only to be heartbreakingly crushed by a last minute goal? Oh look, you did. NOW WHERE'S YOUR CONFIDENCE, HUH?!