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Eeek, it's Christmas Eve Eve today which means time is quickly running out to grab something for your loved ones and show them that you do, actually, sort of like them and their company. Fear not, for I have rummaged around the club shop and have found the most (least) desirable trinkets you can buy, if you're willing to pop to the Mad Stad to grab 'em.
In reverse order, from least desirable to most desirable...
Backscratcher
Christmas Day is sure to leave you almost paralysed from overstuffing. This means that should you encounter the time when you need your back scratched, you can stave off the awkwardness of asking a family member to scratch your back by whacking out THIS beauty.
A gift that's sure to make the itchy members of your family jealous, this is a snip at just £2.50.
Christmas Elf Jumper
In the mood to grab your family member a once-a-year wearable gift? Look no further than this Reading FC Christmas Elf Jumper.
Wow, right? This is a snip at £30.00.
3D Kingsley Hat
Everyone has that one family member (or workmate/classmate) that's always cold, even if it's 40 degrees outside and you feel like ripping your own skin off to cool down.
Well, this winter make sure they stay warm by dressing them up like our very own mascot, Kingsley! Adorable, lovable and perfectly suited to making you look a little bit like Simba from The Lion King, why wouldn't you buy this?
This is all kinds of yes. A bargain at £12.00.
Pro16 Gilet
Ask any true football fan who their favourite managerial great is and the answer they should give you is Tim Sherwood. Earlier this season we saw Reading FC captain Paul McShane channel his inner Sherwood and don this beaut.
Your loved ones can channel their inner Sherwood too, for a crackin' £50.00. Get in.
Tricks gnome
Any Reading FC fan worth their salt would want the gnome equivalent of Nick Blackman. The tricks gnome comes equipped with a ball that is quite clearly being 'tricked' by the gnome's magnificent skill.
Gnomealdinho is a bargain £18.00. Timeless.
Diving gnome
What's better than Gnomealdinho? Drognomba. This diving gnome will lie in your garden, waiting for the next cat to come along so it can... well, stay lying there. But it's definitely worth purchasing.
This Reading FC classic is a bargain £18.00 and will be sure to bring anyone in your circle of relationships the most joy they'll have felt since The Royals' historic 05/06 season.
Something else?
Still not satisfied? If you really don't want to purchase Gnomealdinho or Drognomeba, you can always head to Reading FC Direct to see what other items you might want.