Why are you here? Why would you want to relive that game? Are you feeling ok?

Since you're here, you may as well put yourself through it all again…

The video

The thoughts

0:00–0:19

Okay, Fulham away. It's all going to be okay. There won't be a repeat of last season. We've got Stam.

Oh balls. What was that?

Alright, chaps, you can stop celebrating an own goal like you've won the league. Chill.

0:20–0:39

"I have a great idea. We stop goals going in by standing off them!" – the defence, probably.

0:40–0:55

WELL THAT'S JUST BRILLIANT. WELL DONE, DANNY.

0:56–1:24

Surely nothing will come of this. Two men on him, right touchline, no worries.

WHAT.

FOUL! REF! He tripped him?!

Get. Out.

No goal?

Goal. Balls.

1:25–1:44

I'm going to write the manual on 'How Not To Defend' with this performance.

And maybe another manual on 'How To Score With A Lovely Finish'.

1:45–2:07

Okay, that's not even funny.

Notice how not a single highlight was a Reading attack. They were that bad.