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Ten Things I Won't Miss About The January Transfer Window

Bucks isn't the biggest fan of the January transfer window, and is pretty glad it's gone.

Ben Hoskins/Getty Images

Deadline day madness

The most over-hyped day of the month. If anything, it's likely to be less busy than any other day in January, with most sides doing their business as early as possible. Naturally though, the media whips everyone into a frenzy, and Jim White is the new messiah for circa 24 hours.

The risk of losing key players

It's about this time of year that certain clubs in the Premier League get jittery about their survival chances, and others in the Championship want to boost their promotion hopes. The result? They hungrily look at smaller clubs' best players, and are prepared to pay through the nose to get them - they're that desperate for reinforcements. Naturally, it's your best team's best player that they're after.

The risk of wasting money

Then again, your team can be on the opposite side of things. The manager's worried that he doesn't quite have enough firepower, so he splashes the cash and brings in a less than half fit ageing striker who's five years past his best. Fast forward to March, and you wonder why you brought him in in the first place.

Focus being away from the actual football

January can make you forget that football is an actual sport, played on an actual pitch. The real action is 90 minutes of freezing your fingers off on a Tuesday night under the floodlights, not scrolling through the latest gossip column on the BBC website.

Calls to sign lower league players

He's scored 15 goals in League One already this season, and half the Championship are after him. So why aren't we trying to sign him? You know there'll be dozens of fans on Twitter bemused why we haven't outbid every other team in the division to land the supposed 'next big thing', regardless of how good they actually are.

Relentless negativity when we don't do anything grand

"The owners have no ambition." "We're heading straight to League One." We hear it after every window from the same supporters. Luckily, the manager is wise enough to know that spending £8m on a washed up striker because the fans want him to is bad business.

Ridiculous rumours that won't ever happen

As we all know, the media makes its money from selling papers, which they do by coming up with the most bizarre gossip. Shamefully, we indulge ourselves in it. We gorge on it. We know it's rubbish, but we can't help but pick up today's Mirror to see if our club got a mention.

Will they/won't they sagas

Some stories though are actually genuine - they have legs, and boy do they run. Apparently 'team puts in bid, bid is accepted, player signs contract' is too simple. Some transfer sagas can carry on for ages, and it's exhausting.

Shoddy research

We've never heard of that foreign striker we just signed from some obscure league in Eastern Europe, so we turn to our most trustworthy databases of knowledge. No, not people who've actually seen him play, but YouTube - where someone's uploaded an eight minute mash-up of tap-ins and headers. And then we're surprised when he flops...

Filling the void with news about former players you don't care about anymore

Your team hasn't done anything on deadline day, so you desperately look around for anything else of interest. Wow! That player who used to play for your team a few years ago went on loan to Aberdeen! Let's not kid ourselves - we didn't care about them then, and we don't now.