April Fools: Imagining Next Seasons Kit For Reading FC

Well shiver me timbers, Reading have only gone and done it. The new home kit will be HOOP-LESS.

Without further ado, this is life now...

Taking a bold approach by stripping off the horizontal blue-and-white that has bestowed the Royals jersey since the early 90s, the badge has moved centrally amongst a baby blue and vanilla backdrop. The club themselves are marking the anniversary of the 1986/87 season, in a statement that came through the chimney of TTE towers just this morning, and reads as follows.

"They said it couldn't be done, but our legendary journey to 13th position in Division Two can finally be commemorated 30 years on."
"A campaign that saw such impeccable results such as 4-0 and 3-3, it truly had it all.
"We truly believe fans can join us in finally taking the step away from Hoops and the devaluing QPR association it beings, pressing forward with a modern, noveau-riche design.
"Bringing the best parts of our past to the 21st Century, along with branding and endorsement from our wonderful Thai overlords family, we are ready for the #SasimaEra"

But, wait... There's more!

Ta-da!

TTE hasn't just secured one leak, but two! And leak really is the first word you'd associate with the 2016/17 away kit. Teaming the experimental African Violet with a *ahem* fetching Custard Yellow, the Royals are going for a bedazzling effect.
Let's hear how the club are selling this to the fans...

"Given the outstanding impact of African Violet, and the promising away form we've achieved while wearing it, Reading Football Club are sticking with everyone's new favourite colour and adding a dash of yellow to the mixture.
In fact, yellow is a colour associated with happiness and spirituality, so is perfect for Deniss Rakels striding past our rivals' back-line to launch us to promotion.
URZ!"

What does the gaffer think of the new kits?

Yeah, me too. I'll take, er, none.