Reading Football Club deserve your backing during the 2016/17 play-off campaign.
Whether you’re a neutral, a person that supports a Premier League club, a former footballer with a gripe, or even a Fulham fan. Reading are the team you want to win and see get to Wembley.
Here, let me talk you through it.
Reading have been in the play-off places of the Championship since October 29, 2016. A 2-0 win over Nottingham Forest saw them move into fifth place in the table, and since then, they haven’t ever gone lower than that.
That is consistency. That is a team that deserves to go up. Week after week, they’ve kept performing to a (fairly) consistent level. One foot in front of the other, this side is the embodiment of stamina and a strong mentality.
Fulham, on the other hand, have been all over the place. They were as high as second at the end of August, and as low as 14th in October. They are inconsistent. They snuck into the play-offs at the last minute. They do not deserve your support. Do not root for Fulham.
Do not look at the statistics. It’s fake news. Fulham may have scored 17 more goals than Reading, but Reading have conceded 7 more and are 5 points and 3 places higher in the table. Do you know what that means? It means that Reading are the entertainers.
How? They bend the laws of football. Reading Football Club are a team that, statistically, look like an anomaly. But watch them week after week and they are not. They are confusing. Watch statisticians analyse The Royals and watch them squirm. It’s hilarious.
Oh, and as for aesthetically pleasing football, Fulham just copied Reading’s passing style. They’re copycats and nobody likes a copycat.
I don’t care that Jokanovic joined Fulham in 2015. We got there first, our manager is Dutch.
If you don’t care about Reading usually, you might have missed that Fulham smashed Reading 5-0 back in December. They humiliated us.
A 1-0 victory in the reverse fixture soon afterwards wasn’t enough. We want Daenerys-style revenge. Molten gold poured over the heads of Fulham. Only less violent and wasteful of precious resources.
Look at the odds right now. I don’t really understand odds, or betting, or anything about gambling, but I know Reading are predicted by everyone to be swept aside by the Cottagers.
Support the underdog. You know you want to. Little old Reading, all tinpot and inconsequential... It’s ripe for your support.
Reading’s 35-year-old striker is retiring at the end of the 2017/18 season. He’s scored 18 goals in the Championship and is a genuinely lovely fella. Oh, and he’s got a French accent. Don’t tell me you don’t love the French accent. He’s adorable.
Fulham have no such player. Do not root for Fulham.
Probably the nicest footballer to ever exist. The Reading goalkeeper is the Player of the Season and deserves his chance at the big-time again, after being bombarded by literally hundreds of shots while goalkeeping for Wigan all those years ago.
Fulham have a goalkeeper nobody’s ever heard of before. Shrug.
Jaap Stam is famous around the world. He is a Manchester United legend. He is big. He is bald. This is his first managerial role and he has taken to it like a bird to a bird feeder. He is understated. He looks angry but is actually lovely.
He’s also Batman. Support Batman.
Jokanovic got sacked from Watford and is all hairy and stuff. No thanks. Don’t support him.
Reading are in discussions with Chinese people to be taken over again.
What does this have to do with the play-offs? Well, there are rumours that if Reading get promoted the Premier League will block them. Now, wouldn’t that be something interesting to talk about throughout the summer?
Fulham have no such concerns and are generally bland and boring in that regard. Bring back the Michael Jackson statue and we’ll talk again.
The Tilehurst End > Cottagers Confidential. Simple.
So, you know what to do during these play-off semi-finals: root for The Royals.