Reports emerging tonight from (media outlet) are suggesting that Jaap Stam could become the next manager of (that club that needs a new manager).
(That club that needs a new manager) sacked their previous boss, (Forename Surname) after they realised he wasn't very good at his job.
A generic club statement lacking in emotion or sincerity read:
"(That club that needs a new manager) Football Club can today confirm that it has terminated the contract of (Forename Surname) with immediate effect.
"Everyone at (that club that needs a new manager) would like to express our thanks to (Forename) for his hard work and commitment this year. The highlight of the season was (that game you all liked), a day our fans will always treasure.
"We wish (Forename) well for the future.
"The search for a new management team that is better than the last one is underway. We are confident that we will find one that won't lose as many games as (Forename Surname) did."
So, why Stam specifically?
Jaap Stam's stock has risen markedly since guiding Reading to a third place finish in his debut season as a first team manager. Naturally, as those reports above mention, that is an undeniable reason that he will definitely join (that club that needs a new manager).
Indeed, the new (Chinese/Thai/American/Arabian/Russian) owners of (that club that needs a new manager) believe that, by appointing as big a name as Stam, they'll soon be able to attract big stars like (Overpriced Forward) from FC (Spanish Team).
Speculation intensified after fans on Twitter announced to the world's media that they "wouldn't mind" having Stam at (that club that needs a new manager).
Bookies responded to the news by slashing odds on Stam's appointment, putting him in the running with Ryan Giggs, Nigel Pearson and (other big name manager who's currently unemployed because he didn't do very well at that other team).
However, Alan Curbishley is believed to be the frontrunner. Probably.